Hidden Things

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Mt 5:5 

         The meek are not only those who seek to imitate Christ by showing kindness and gentleness to their neighbors but they are also those who give complete control of their lives to God. The word meek in Greek language means to put a bit in the mouth of a horse to be controlled by the rider! That is how much we are to give control to God. In this age of artificial intelligence where we are eager to give control to technology and to our human wisdom which has failed us often when we need it the most. We should learn to give complete control of our lives to God which as Jesus says makes us truly his mother and brethren. (Mark 3:35) When we don't comprehend how things are going to unfold in our life by this choice then let us learn to be meek like our mother Mary saying "Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord; let it be done to me according to your word" (Luke 1:38) Without making the will of God as our food like Jesus did by saying "...my food is to do the will of him who sent me, and to accomplish his work" (John 4:34), we will not be meek when it is a painful one when in the garden of Gethsemane Jesus was meek by saying "...nevertheless, not as I will but as you will." (Matthew 26:39).

           One of the most painful and difficult decisions of my life was when i had to break from a love relationship i had been committed to for more than 8 years. It was during my personal prayer did God reveal to me that this relationship was not according to his will. My biggest question to God was about the promise that I had made to her. He answered that it is for her good as well! Still with a heavy heart along with the grace of God was I able to convince her that we should not continue this. St Alphonsus de ligouri says He who gives his goods in alms, his blood in scourgings, his food in fasting, gives God what he has. But he who gives God his will, gives himself, gives everything he is. Such a one can say Though I am poor, Lord, I give thee my will, I have nothing left to give thee." Augustine's comment is: "There is nothing more pleasing we can offer God than to say to him: 'Posses thyself of us'." We cannot offer God anything more pleasing to God anything more pleasing than to say: “Take us, Lord, we give thee our entire will”. Only let us know thy will and we will carry it out. Prophet Samuel says “Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,  and to listen than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry”. (1 Samuel 15:22) The greatest sign of us carrying out his holy will is the inner peace that follows. More we place our trust in God more we are able to do his will. So what are we to do now? We as the sheep of our Lord need to listen to is voice in our personal prayer with an expectant faith. John 10:27 “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope”. (Jeremiah 29:11) Our Father in heaven has it all planned out far better than what we can plan otherwise he is not a true father. Lord also says “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me; when you seek me with all your heart”. (Jeremiah 29:12-13) Let us seek him with all our heart and we will find him and he will reveal his plans for us and not just that he will also reveal hidden things as he has promised in (Jeremiah 33:3) “Call to me and I will answer you, and will reveal hidden things which you have not known”. It is amazing to know he will not just answer us but as a true friend he will also reveal hidden things as he revealed to St Paul in (2 Corinthians 12:1-7), about his great Divine mercy to St Faustina and many doctrine’s to our doctors of the church. Thus we come to know the meaning of the rest of the beatitude “...for they shall inherit the earth” When Israel came into the promised land which was divided up among the tribe’s by lot (Proverbs 16:33) says that when lots are drawn it is given by the Lord. Thus, if we are meek thus put ourselves in God’s control, we will receive what God has apportioned or planned for us! The hidden things that he has in store for each and everyone of us!

                      Are we willing to quieten ourselves and patiently sit at the feet of our Lord Jesus like Mary Magdalene or do we want to continue to be distracted by the many things that the world has to offer. Did you know she was the first to see the Lord after his death.

Let’s constantly pray: Jesus meek and humble at heart, make my heart like unto thine own.

Being transformed

            

            Every season of Christmas, I have had some sumptuous meals with wine along with my family but this season wine was missing and this prompted me to make some wine. Having tried this earlier once, I did some additional research on this subject and set out for this task. Most important and difficult task was to ensure that everything was squeaky clean because bacteria could turn the grapes to vinegar instead of wine. Once I filled the ceramic jar with hand crushed grapes and yeast, I had to again ensure that it was covered with a clean cloth which will ensure that none of the dirt comes in but ensures that oxygen is still going in which helps in fermenting the grapes. What this brought to my mind is how we as the grapes when we encounter Christ in the crushing moments of our life the yeast that is the Holy Spirit not just transforms us into another Christ but also makes us witnesses for him. But during these crushing moments we should ensure that none of the dirt from the air comes into our lives like hatred, greed, despair, lust, pride, envy which could instead of transforming us to become like Christ will make us into vinegar which Christ rejected when on the cross.

The word of God says that “I am the Lord and there is no other. I form the light and create darkness, I make well-being and create woe, I am the Lord, who does all these things.” Isaiah 45:7 God is not the cause of evil but permits the misuse of free will expressed in evil deeds. When the messenger came to announce to Job that the Sabeans had plundered his goods and slain his children, he said: “The Lord gave and the Lord taken away.” He did not say: “The Lord has given me my children and my possessions, and the Sabeans have taken them away.” He realized that adversity had come upon him by the will of God. Therefore he added: “As it has pleased the Lord, so is it done. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” God wills only our good; God loves us more than anybody else can or does love us. His will is that no one should lose his soul, that everyone should save and sanctify his soul: “Not willing that any should perish, but that all should return to penance.” 2 peter 3:9 “This is the will of God, your sanctification.” 1 thess 4:3 God has made the attainment of our happiness, his glory. Since he is by his nature infinite goodness, and since as St. Leo says goodness is diffusive of itself, God has a supreme desire to make us sharers of his goods and of his happiness. If then he sends us suffering in this life, it is for our own good: “All things work together unto good.” The essence of perfection is to embrace the will of God in all things, prosperous or adverse. In prosperity, even sinners find it easy to unite themselves to the divine will; but it takes saints to unite themselves to God’s will when things go wrong and are painful to selflove.

What we want to become is our choice. Fallen man’s natural inclination is to look to allowing sin to take control of his life.  But a life filled with obedience to the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit which guide us in the path of holiness will enable us to be true, tried, tested and humble witnesses for the Lord. Let us imitate what Habakkuk said when he faced difficulties in his life.

Though the fig tree do not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines,

the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food,

the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will joy in the God of my salvation.

Also make the prayer of our mother Mary our own prayer. Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord let it be done to me according to thy will. Though she did not fully understand everything perfectly she most perfectly embraced the divine will of God. Though we do not fully understand or like what we are undergoing at the present moment let us move forward with our faith, hope and love in God. We will slowly but surely be transformed by the Holy Spirit who acts as the yeast, into another Christ.

The price of a slave

The dominant news in past few years and rightly so is the heinous crime of rape in India. But I was surprised to listen to this statement from the movie The General’s daughter “there is something more difficult than rape”. The crux of the movie is this where the General’s daughter who is a Captain in the army is murdered in an unusual fashion. But it turns out to be more than just that. 

The investigator uncovers that the Captain had been brutally gang raped by fellow trainees while a cadet. Luckily, another trainee group rescued her. But she never knew who that was. When the news reached her father, instead of helping the daughter identify them he decided to cover it up since it would cause a scandal and destroy the Academy, not to mention his own ambitions to become Vice President of the United States. This denial of justice by her own father severely traumatized her.  This betrayal of the father was more painful to daughter than all the pain that she had experienced earlier!

This was an eye-opener for me, helped me to understand the depth of pain that Jesus went through to allow to be betrayed by his friend and loved one Judas Iscariot that to with a kiss. Judas who was one of the chosen twelve who had been taught by Jesus and journeyed with Him for 3 full years betrayed him for a meager 30 pieces of silver which was the price of a slave (exodus 21:32)! He places little value on Jesus as he had been doing consistently by stealing from the money bag (John 12:6) and prefers  personal gain. 

This is in stark contrast with the lavish gesture of the woman Mt 26:6-13 who pours ointment worth 300 denarii equal to a year’s wages. How much of value do we place on Christ and his words. Do we take care to meditate on them and obey all of them? Or do we have selective amnesia? Choosing to meditate only on the words that please us and give emotional satisfaction? Have we forgiven those who have hurt us and pray for them or are we carrying these hurts in hearts waiting to see their downfall? Agreed it isn’t easy! Next to loving our enemies, the most difficult thing is to forgive them. Yet, God asks us to do both. He is so particular about the latter, in fact, that he says he will withhold his own forgiveness for our sins if we do not forgive others for their sins. It is a fact that some of us overlook, believing that we will have absolution simply by repenting, even though a common prayer that we say makes it very clear that God’s forgiveness is determinant on our own forgiveness of others. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us “ (Matthew 6:12). It is, therefore, essential that we forgive others, just as God has forgiven us. And if we say that we forgive someone and we choose to keep ourselves away from that person then essentially we are asking God to forgive us and keep away from us! We need to take care on how we forgive those who hurt us. Let’s remember that we have been forgiven more than we can ever forgive others. If we still find it difficult to forgive when we bring the person or incident to our mind that hurt us then I would like to share this word of God “For the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome” 1John5:3 It is based on the depth of love that we have God will we find it easy to do what he wants us to do.

Most often forgiveness does us more good than we envision as it brings an inner healing that we are in dire need off. Forgiveness is the key God gives each one of us to heal us from the inner wounds of the past or present to give us a blessed future. This is something I say out of a deep personal experience. Psychology says, men tend to forget but not forgive. Women tend to forgive but never forget. During the inner healing session in a retreat, Holy Spirit brought to my mind the incidents that lead to wounds in my heart and the unforgiveness that I had against my father. It was with great struggle, lot of tears and with the help of the Spirit was I able to forgive with these words… I forgive Lord I forgive help my unforgiveness. Letting the hurt, anger and unforgiveness go was not an easy task. At the end of the retreat I received a chit with these words “This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:17 I was elated to know that I had pleased God. It was worth the effort. Our God is eager to help us as we struggle to forgive and bless us as we become victorious in our struggles. If we still find it difficult to forgive when we bring the person or incident to our mind that hurt us then I would like to share this word of God “For the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome” 1 John 5:3 It is based on the depth of love that we have God will we find it easy to do what he wants us to do. 

Prayer

Father God, I thank you for having forgiven me my sins; sins that I repeat time and time again. I take the decision now to forgive all those who have sinned against me. I ask you for your grace to be able to forgive those who have done so, regardless of whether the hurt they have caused me is grievous or minor. It would help me to remember that I, myself, hurt others constantly by my own words and actions.

Holy Spirit, please reveal to me those whom I need to forgive, even if they are people from way back in the past, whose names or faces I might no longer remember. In a desire to forget the pain they have caused me, I might have buried the incidents deep in my subconscious. I ask that you uncover them, not to bring back the pain, but to heal the wounds that have been caused; wounds that might be infecting my body and my soul.

Jesus, even as I forgive these people, I ask you to forgive them too. Grant them your mercy and draw them to you in salvation. I also ask you for your grace to instantly forgive those who hurt me in the future, even those who hurt me regularly. Help me to understand what you did as you were dying on the cross, that people don’t realize that they jeopardize their salvation when they hurt us, and that I should, therefore, be sympathetic rather than upset.

The Light in my life

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light - Isaiah (9:1)

I noticed something strange about the flower pots we had ever since we moved into this new residence. There used to array of beautiful flowers on them, but it was all gone and there weren’t any flowers on them. This captured my thoughts and I began pondering on the reason behind it. Then, it struck my mind that those flower plants were not getting sunlight, the basic lifeline of every floral life form. The Holy Spirit was helping me understand the importance of Jesus’s light in my life. The season of lent is a time of test, to understand our rootedness in Christ. Have we allowed the Holy Spirit to mold us so that we may become Christ like? Or have we been stubborn? As the psalmist says, I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Do not be like a horse or mule, without understanding, whose temper must be curbed with bit and birdle, else it will not stay near you. Psalm 32:8-9 Or as Saint Paul says; ‘Are we able to say it is not I but Christ who lives in me? (if we really want an answer to this question, then, the acid test is to ask the people who we live with). There are always areas of improvement.

There is no question that ‘Have we known the Lord?’ because we are people who are trying to walk in the Light. The more we spend time with the Lord, the more rooted in Christ we become (Character wise). Are we praying regularly? Personally to God who loves us so much? Is there PERSONAL PRAYER in life? Do we regularly and reverently receive our Lord Jesus in the Eucharist? Is there eagerness to read and more importantly meditate on the WORD OF GOD. If all this is in place, then the rest will follow.

St John of the Cross made a beautiful statement in one of his books

“... the affection and attachment which the soul has for creatures renders the soul like to these creatures; and the greater is its affection, 
the closer is the equality and likeness between them; for love creates likeness between that which loves and that which is loved he that 
loves a creature becomes as low as that creature, and in some ways lower, for love not only makes the lover equal to the object of his 
love, but even subjects him to it love makes equality and resemblance”

In simple words, the more time we spend adoring someone or something, we are likely to become like them or that thing itself. It is evidently seen in children whose parents spend more time with them. These little ones are more likely to imitate their parents or try and do what is shown, said and done to them by them in every little ways possible. When we spend more time with Jesus, we are more likely to become and act like him. Jesus values the time that we spend with him. Time and willingness is what he uses to undo the changes that have happened in our lives without him. Saints have not become saints overnight but by doing small changes (small pains) in daily life. Lord will guide you and show you that there is always that little extra time that you can spend with the Lord to become more like him and less like ourselves. 1 Timothy 2:20-21.

Now is the time to decide what is it the Lord wants us to surrender in view of the Lenten season. Some things are not going to be easy to surrender after holding on to them for a long time. Even things with the semblance of good, can become our identity which we cannot be without and our good God wants us to have him as our identity.

Prayer

I surrender my life, which you have given me, along with everything in it. I surrender my family, my finances, my home, my occupation, my skills. I surrender everything I have and everything I will have. I surrender what I am and what I will be. All is yours, Lord. I place everything at your feet. Let your Holy will be done in me and in my life.

The most elusive emotion "LOVE"

Love is the most elusive concept. Everyone wants a part of it.
To be more accurate we want to be immersed in love.
Media takes advantage of this frenzy to the point of idolizing it.
There is not a single person in this planet, who has not given it a thought at some point of their lives.
Others cannot live without "Love", jumping from one relationship to another. Is this an emotional state to be attained or the opposite sex, an object to be attained!!! A critical analysis of this brings to my attention, a thought provoking statement that Saint Augustine makes
                     

"Our heart is restless unless it rests in you O Lord"

 derived from the Psalm 42:1-2.

As a deer longs for flowing streams so my soul longs for you,

 O God My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

 I have come to realize that this emptiness or better described as the vacuum that we feel in us in this day to day hustle and bustle of our life, we tend to seek. In this search in the wilderness the only thing that comes to our attention is what is thrown at our face by the media "LOVE". The very thought of it brings warmth or hurts according to our experiences. There are many other addictive objects which we use to fill this void in our lives. It may be drugs, liquor or cigarettes, pornography, fashion, money, sex, music, gaming, friends etc the list of which is growing every day. Solomon says Remember your creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come, and the years draw near when you will say, ‘I have no pleasure in them’

This he says after having written the book ecclesiastes,
where he reveals the depression that inevitably results from seeking happiness in worldly things. This book gives us a chance to see the world through the eyes of a person who, though very wise, is trying to find meaning in temporary, worldly things. Every form of worldly pleasure at the time is explored by Solomon, and none of it gives him a sense of fulfilment. It is no wonder that suicide is being considered by, increasingly more and more youngsters in the recent times. And the mental state being so fragile where family relationships break and marriages crumbling.

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world
 and forfeits his soul?
Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

Matthew 16:26

Let us rest in God for God is love 1 John 4:8. 

Love is more of an action than an emotional feeling. 

The proof of which is the cross!

‘For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son,

              so that everyone who believes in him may not perish 

        but may have eternal life John 3:16.

        Above all, that which brings me to Christ is this

"But God proves his love for us in that while

we still were sinners Christ died for us" Romans 5:8.

O what amazing love this is!

Come let us draw near to one who is truly love

in every sense of the word.           

Listen! I am standing at the door, knocking;

if you hear my voice and open the door,

I will come in to you and eat with you,

and you with me Revelation 3:20.

Open the eyes of my heart Lord

The past few weeks i have been groaning at the difficult times that i had to go through. Even though i had been strengthened by Jesus at the right times with his life giving words, I felt myself crumbling at the weight of the cross that i was carrying. One day the Lord helped me to meet a friend. It was through her that i came to be more aware of myself from the eyes of God. Which is illustrated in following mail that was sent to me.

The Cross

A young man was at the end of his rope, seeing no way out, dropped to his knees in prayer. "Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy of a cross to bear." The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, Just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pic out any cross you wish." The man was filled with relief said, "Thank you, Lord," and he did as he was told. Upon entering the oter door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visile. Then, he spoted a timy cross leaning against a far wall. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered. And the Lord replied, "My son, that is the cross you just brought in."

how blind i have been. Only looking at myself. Its when I looked around and see what other people are coping with did i actually realize how fortunate I was. My cross through i found it difficult to bear, I know that Jesus will not give me a cross that I cannot carry as he knows my weaknesses. I have stumbled and sometimes fallen in anguish but Christ has always been there for me strengthening ,correcting me and guiding me. Now my prayer is "Open the eyes of my heart Lord"

Difficult times

I have been going through some difficult times recently. Everything in my life was not going the way i wanted it to be but exactly in the opposite manner. Different problems with different dimensions some which i never thought i would have to go through. The real testing part was that it was happening in all aspects of my life. Be it professional , personal and a profound dryness in my spiritual life.

Then i came across this beautiful story of a child who saw a man holding a ugly and dirty piece of metal in the middle of the fire which was being engulfed in the flame. The child in its inquisitive nature was asking the man what are you doing with that ugly and dirty thing. The man asked the child to sit beside him and to watch the metal closely. The child realised that as time went on the fire was melting away the ugly and dirty and slowly but steadily he could see white silver part emerging out of it. The child then asked the man how will you know when the process is completed. The man responded saying "when i see my face in it". The man in the story being Jesus and the ugly and dirty metal being me i realised that , every day when i read the bible yearning to become Christ like, I always forgot what it took Christ to become what he is to us now "Suffering".

Then these verses in the bible which i had read a long time ago, came to my mind.

My child, when you come to serve the Lord, prepare yourself for testing.

Set your heart right and be steadfast, and do not be impetuous in time of calamity.

Cling to him and do not depart, so that your last days may be prosperous.

Accept whatever befalls you, and in times of humiliation be patient.

For gold is tested in the fire, and those found acceptable, in the furnace of humiliation

Trust in him, and he will help you; make your ways straight, and hope in him. - Sirach 2 : 1-6

The last verse gave me a lot of strength to journey on in my life and i pray it does the same for you.