The price of a slave

The dominant news in past few years and rightly so is the heinous crime of rape in India. But I was surprised to listen to this statement from the movie The General’s daughter “there is something more difficult than rape”. The crux of the movie is this where the General’s daughter who is a Captain in the army is murdered in an unusual fashion. But it turns out to be more than just that. 

The investigator uncovers that the Captain had been brutally gang raped by fellow trainees while a cadet. Luckily, another trainee group rescued her. But she never knew who that was. When the news reached her father, instead of helping the daughter identify them he decided to cover it up since it would cause a scandal and destroy the Academy, not to mention his own ambitions to become Vice President of the United States. This denial of justice by her own father severely traumatized her.  This betrayal of the father was more painful to daughter than all the pain that she had experienced earlier!

This was an eye-opener for me, helped me to understand the depth of pain that Jesus went through to allow to be betrayed by his friend and loved one Judas Iscariot that to with a kiss. Judas who was one of the chosen twelve who had been taught by Jesus and journeyed with Him for 3 full years betrayed him for a meager 30 pieces of silver which was the price of a slave (exodus 21:32)! He places little value on Jesus as he had been doing consistently by stealing from the money bag (John 12:6) and prefers  personal gain. 

This is in stark contrast with the lavish gesture of the woman Mt 26:6-13 who pours ointment worth 300 denarii equal to a year’s wages. How much of value do we place on Christ and his words. Do we take care to meditate on them and obey all of them? Or do we have selective amnesia? Choosing to meditate only on the words that please us and give emotional satisfaction? Have we forgiven those who have hurt us and pray for them or are we carrying these hurts in hearts waiting to see their downfall? Agreed it isn’t easy! Next to loving our enemies, the most difficult thing is to forgive them. Yet, God asks us to do both. He is so particular about the latter, in fact, that he says he will withhold his own forgiveness for our sins if we do not forgive others for their sins. It is a fact that some of us overlook, believing that we will have absolution simply by repenting, even though a common prayer that we say makes it very clear that God’s forgiveness is determinant on our own forgiveness of others. “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us “ (Matthew 6:12). It is, therefore, essential that we forgive others, just as God has forgiven us. And if we say that we forgive someone and we choose to keep ourselves away from that person then essentially we are asking God to forgive us and keep away from us! We need to take care on how we forgive those who hurt us. Let’s remember that we have been forgiven more than we can ever forgive others. If we still find it difficult to forgive when we bring the person or incident to our mind that hurt us then I would like to share this word of God “For the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome” 1John5:3 It is based on the depth of love that we have God will we find it easy to do what he wants us to do.

Most often forgiveness does us more good than we envision as it brings an inner healing that we are in dire need off. Forgiveness is the key God gives each one of us to heal us from the inner wounds of the past or present to give us a blessed future. This is something I say out of a deep personal experience. Psychology says, men tend to forget but not forgive. Women tend to forgive but never forget. During the inner healing session in a retreat, Holy Spirit brought to my mind the incidents that lead to wounds in my heart and the unforgiveness that I had against my father. It was with great struggle, lot of tears and with the help of the Spirit was I able to forgive with these words… I forgive Lord I forgive help my unforgiveness. Letting the hurt, anger and unforgiveness go was not an easy task. At the end of the retreat I received a chit with these words “This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:17 I was elated to know that I had pleased God. It was worth the effort. Our God is eager to help us as we struggle to forgive and bless us as we become victorious in our struggles. If we still find it difficult to forgive when we bring the person or incident to our mind that hurt us then I would like to share this word of God “For the love of God is this, that we obey his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome” 1 John 5:3 It is based on the depth of love that we have God will we find it easy to do what he wants us to do. 

Prayer

Father God, I thank you for having forgiven me my sins; sins that I repeat time and time again. I take the decision now to forgive all those who have sinned against me. I ask you for your grace to be able to forgive those who have done so, regardless of whether the hurt they have caused me is grievous or minor. It would help me to remember that I, myself, hurt others constantly by my own words and actions.

Holy Spirit, please reveal to me those whom I need to forgive, even if they are people from way back in the past, whose names or faces I might no longer remember. In a desire to forget the pain they have caused me, I might have buried the incidents deep in my subconscious. I ask that you uncover them, not to bring back the pain, but to heal the wounds that have been caused; wounds that might be infecting my body and my soul.

Jesus, even as I forgive these people, I ask you to forgive them too. Grant them your mercy and draw them to you in salvation. I also ask you for your grace to instantly forgive those who hurt me in the future, even those who hurt me regularly. Help me to understand what you did as you were dying on the cross, that people don’t realize that they jeopardize their salvation when they hurt us, and that I should, therefore, be sympathetic rather than upset.

The Light in my life

The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light - Isaiah (9:1)

I noticed something strange about the flower pots we had ever since we moved into this new residence. There used to array of beautiful flowers on them, but it was all gone and there weren’t any flowers on them. This captured my thoughts and I began pondering on the reason behind it. Then, it struck my mind that those flower plants were not getting sunlight, the basic lifeline of every floral life form. The Holy Spirit was helping me understand the importance of Jesus’s light in my life. The season of lent is a time of test, to understand our rootedness in Christ. Have we allowed the Holy Spirit to mold us so that we may become Christ like? Or have we been stubborn? As the psalmist says, I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Do not be like a horse or mule, without understanding, whose temper must be curbed with bit and birdle, else it will not stay near you. Psalm 32:8-9 Or as Saint Paul says; ‘Are we able to say it is not I but Christ who lives in me? (if we really want an answer to this question, then, the acid test is to ask the people who we live with). There are always areas of improvement.

There is no question that ‘Have we known the Lord?’ because we are people who are trying to walk in the Light. The more we spend time with the Lord, the more rooted in Christ we become (Character wise). Are we praying regularly? Personally to God who loves us so much? Is there PERSONAL PRAYER in life? Do we regularly and reverently receive our Lord Jesus in the Eucharist? Is there eagerness to read and more importantly meditate on the WORD OF GOD. If all this is in place, then the rest will follow.

St John of the Cross made a beautiful statement in one of his books

“... the affection and attachment which the soul has for creatures renders the soul like to these creatures; and the greater is its affection, 
the closer is the equality and likeness between them; for love creates likeness between that which loves and that which is loved he that 
loves a creature becomes as low as that creature, and in some ways lower, for love not only makes the lover equal to the object of his 
love, but even subjects him to it love makes equality and resemblance”

In simple words, the more time we spend adoring someone or something, we are likely to become like them or that thing itself. It is evidently seen in children whose parents spend more time with them. These little ones are more likely to imitate their parents or try and do what is shown, said and done to them by them in every little ways possible. When we spend more time with Jesus, we are more likely to become and act like him. Jesus values the time that we spend with him. Time and willingness is what he uses to undo the changes that have happened in our lives without him. Saints have not become saints overnight but by doing small changes (small pains) in daily life. Lord will guide you and show you that there is always that little extra time that you can spend with the Lord to become more like him and less like ourselves. 1 Timothy 2:20-21.

Now is the time to decide what is it the Lord wants us to surrender in view of the Lenten season. Some things are not going to be easy to surrender after holding on to them for a long time. Even things with the semblance of good, can become our identity which we cannot be without and our good God wants us to have him as our identity.

Prayer

I surrender my life, which you have given me, along with everything in it. I surrender my family, my finances, my home, my occupation, my skills. I surrender everything I have and everything I will have. I surrender what I am and what I will be. All is yours, Lord. I place everything at your feet. Let your Holy will be done in me and in my life.